If the paid search industry were Gotham City, Drunk PPC Girl would be Batgirl, the masked vigilante protecting it from the shadows. She may not be the heroine paid search deserves, but she’s the heroine PPC needs.
Like every good superhero, Drunk PPC Girl is on a mission: to save the paid search industry from boredom. Rather than batarangs and grappling hooks, Drunk PPC Girl’s weapons of choice are dry quips, witty observations, and shots of tequila.
Often imitated but never equaled, Drunk PPC Girl tweets about the PPC industry like nobody else, bravely asking the questions we’ve all thought to ourselves but lacked the courage to say out loud.
But who is Drunk PPC Girl, and what set her on the path to social media fame? I spoke with Drunk PPC Girl recently (on the condition that I wouldn’t reveal her secret identity) and asked her what it’s like to be one of paid search’s most renowned – yet mysterious – figures.
1. Can you tell us DrunkPPCGirl's backstory? I bet it's something cool, like Spiderman or Batman. Where did you come from?
My persona was born during an after party at SMX West. There's just something that happens to you when you are filled with so many great PPC thoughts and also so much alcohol. Things just come to light and you ask yourself, like, “Why aren't I tweeting these gems out to the world?”
2. How happy are you with the ROI on your remarketing campaign for boyfriends, and what tips do you have for other desperate singles in PPC looking to optimize conversions?
Ugh, not a lot of luck. ROI is super low right now. I don't understand why these guys I'm targeting keep telling me it's "creepy". Um, excuse me, I have a frequency cap, OK? I'm not an idiot. What's their problem?!? Can't a drunk girl get some love??
For my single PPC ladies, my advice is to just be yourself. A genuine value prop and a great CTA (like "CALL ME!") will get you the guy. Also, remember that vinegar helps get wine stains out of your dresses...
3. How on earth did you score all those extra drink tickets at the SMX After Party? There has to be a story behind that pocket full of Bing treats.
I'm a PPC profresh. People practically threw them at me.
4. How can your dates improve their Quality Score, and do you reward them for doing so with a discount?
I'm kind of like Google in that I don't ever fully reveal exactly how I calculate QS. But every date definitely gets a number. You're definitely getting at least an 8/10 if you buy me drinks.
5. I keep getting these late night phone calls... someone sobbing and mumbling about Mobilegeddon and asking whether they're pretty. Would you happen to know anything about that?
Do you have caller-ID? Asking for a friend...
6. If you were designing a calendar featuring the men of the PPC marketing industry, who are some of the guys you’d include and why? (I’d include John Gagnon from Bing Ads because he’s so dreamy…)
Um, DEF John Gagnon. What a Bing Ads dreamboat. Also love Matt Umbro, Steve Hammer, Greg Gifford, Frederick Vallaeys, John Lee, Luke Alley, Brad Geddes, Matt Van Wagner, Larry Kim :)
7. Where will DrunkPPCGirl strike next? How will I know it's you?
I'm always a ~*~mystery~*~. You may catch wind of me at SMX Advanced this year ;)
8. What do you think of ppc_cat?
OMG, super cute and super pun-ny. One day I'm gonna buy that cat some catnip, take it to a bar, and we're gonna tear up the town!